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By: :Tendai Franklyn-Brown 0 comments


“The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” Robert Holden

Valentine’s Day is coming! It’s not just a day to celebrate romantic love, but any type of love you care to acknowledge. If you choose to celebrate it or drown the noise out, I implore you to do something that signifies self-love to you.

We don’t need a reminder like Valentine’s Day to highlight this, as you can experience or have a self love moment everyday. Whether it’s a daily mantra that you recite whilst moisturising your skin and talk to yourself in the mirror, or whether you meditate 🧘🏾‍♀️, work out, have a nice meal, go for a walk or talk to someone who reaffirms positive things you like about yourself, it’s important to acknowledge what self love means and looks like for you.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” Audre Lorde

Self-love means that the focus is on you. Practicing self care and self-love means that you prioritise your well-being and happiness, it also means that you extend the same respect and care you have for others to yourself.

No one is encouraging egotism or narcissistic behaviour, on the contrary it's just to encourage self-acknowledgement. Do not be fooled self-love is work, hard work. It requires a lot of honesty, initiating healthy boundaries that have to be set, it requires discipline, accountability, sometimes even the removal of friends and family to maintain peace which I’ve learned is priceless. I’ve also learned that its not finite, but an ongoing game of Tetris and moving parts. 

Loving yourself truly comes with facing what you may dislike most about yourself. Maybe it is a body-part or multiple body-parts, or the way you treated someone, or guilt or shame about a situation. The thing is, until you can really shine a light on your insecurities, you will never be truly accepting of yourself.

Prioritise yourself, carve out moments in the day that speak to your interests or reward yourself for completing tasks. I read some where that if you have a favourite plant name it after yourself so that you can speak to yourself inadvertently.

Words have power and when intention is applied the energy shifts and a sequence of events come in to play. In these trying times intention is everything so be gentle with yourself and curate a support system that nurtures you and makes you feel safe.

Happy Valentine's Day (or not). 

Sending love 💕& light✨

Tendai x

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